The Ultimate Reframe: Prince Harry & Megan MarkleFebruary 25, 2020
Throughout the Reframe blog series, we’ve talked about how to get unstuck by changing your perspective of a challenging situation, problem, person, or whatever your roadblock is—and by changing your perspective you change its meaning. Reframing shifts you from a victim to a problem-solver. And the moment you start thinking like a problem-solver is the moment you get unstuck.
We’ve talked through each of the steps of Reframe. At a high level, they are:
CTRL: Control Your Frame
ALT: Find An Alternative Frame
DEL: Delete The Frame Not Serving You
I shared several examples throughout the blogs demonstrating how to master each frame. However, I think it would be hugely beneficial to tie everything together into one big example so that rather than piecing it all together, you can see the full picture. So let’s jump right in with…Prince Harry and Megan Markle.
Agree or disagree with their big move to Canada, you have to admit—this couple definitely felt stuck in their current roles and Reframed! So let’s take a look at how each step of the Reframe process as it applies to this situation as we—from a public perspective—see it.
You may recall that controlling your frame requires brutal honesty with yourself. You have to take a hard look at the situation you would like to view differently and own how you really feel, act, and think about the situation currently. In fact, you have to become completely vulnerable and admit to yourself that the current situation is no longer working for you and is not serving you.
Prince Harry had been a royal his entire life. Meanwhile, Megan Markle married into the Royal Family. For many people, this would be a dream come true. You live in a palace, have plenty of money at your disposal, and hold incredible sway in meaningful causes. But for all of the pros that come with royal status, there are also cons such as family politics and intrusive press/ tabloids. Moreover, Prince Harry has always had a rocky relationship with the tabloids due to his mother, Princess Diana. Therefore it appears that when Prince Harry and Megan Markle took a step back and really examined their situation—they had to admit that life, as it was simply, wasn’t working for their new family. That is, life as senior members of the royal family was no longer working. You don’t have to agree with their assessment – and if you were in their shoes, you might have arrived at a completely different conclusion – but you have to respect the courage it took to admit to themselves and the rest of the world, including THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND, this isn’t working for us.
The ALT mindset required Prince Harry and Megan Markle to turn OFF their opinions and turn ON their analytical thinking. They made a list of facts regarding their current situation. This was likely difficult given all of the opinions that were being voiced not to mention an overwhelming sense of duty and familial obligation felt given their status. Remember, in this step, you must stick to facts. List all of the facts about the situation you can think of and when you can think of any more, ask yourself “what else is true?” Challenge your fact list and make sure they are quantifiable facts and not just your opinion. Here is an example of “opinion versus fact” they *may* have had to wade through:
“The tabloids hate Megan” is not a fact. It’s an opinion.
“The Sun has printed XXX number of negative headlines about Megan Markle” is a fact.
“We’re stuck in this situation forever,” is an opinion.
“We are senior members of the royal family and therefore have certain duties we must uphold,” is a fact.
“If we relinquish our titles we will lose certain monetary and status privileges,” is a fact.
“We are free to choose our path and our roles if we accept the consequences of those actions,” is a fact.
Why do facts versus opinions matter? Because our frame is created by our opinions. And those opinions come from long-held beliefs, fears, and emotions. But the key is to separate your opinions from the facts. This way, the things that once seemed impossible, overwhelming, and frustrating become much clearer and more attainable. Why? Simply put, focusing on the facts moves you from a mindset of the victim of a situation to a proactive, problem-solver who is moving forward! In this step, Prince Harry and Megan Markle challenged the facts facing them, allowing them to begin to view a clear path forward.
Prince Harry and Megan Markle were faced with the seemingly insurmountable of deleting the frame not serving them: that of being senior members of the royal family. WOW! Whether you applaud them or want to chastise them for making the decision they did, I hope you can see that it’s unlikely they made this monumental choice with haste. Instead, they were likely brutally honest with themselves about what wasn’t working for their family and made a decision to get unstuck. While some of us may think that decision is crazy (who would want to give up the perks of being royal?) for them, it was the only decision that made sense.
Getting unstuck requires you to constantly remind yourself of your new frame so you don’t slip back. Harry and Megan moved to Canada for a new environment. That’s a massive DEL step!
DEL requires you to replace your autopilot frame with a whole new frame. And as you can imagine, this takes work. In fact, it will only happen with concentrated, purposeful effort—which the royal couple likely put forth.
What This Means For You
Everyone in the world is presented with a unique set of challenges. Maybe you feel empathy for the royal couple or maybe you don’t — maybe you think they should do their duty and find a way to bloom in their official roles. What’s ironic is there are people in your life who view your challenges the same way! Your challenges may seem insurmountable to you, while others view those challenges as quite small in comparison to what they are going through. But the point isn’t how large or small your challenge is. The point is: what are you going to do about it? Are you willing to CTRL+ALT+DEL to get unstuck?
Everyone has an opportunity to make the big leap and reframe their view of a situation. Everyone has the ability to change their thinking from victim to survivor to thriver. But do you? Or do you get stuck by your own fear—or the fear of others’ judgment? If you are stuck, I get it. You’ll get no judgment from me! I’ve been stuck many times in my life and perhaps that’s why I’m so passionate about helping others forge a new path.
I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can overcome your challenges and move forward. Hey, if Prince Harry and Megan Markle can move to Canada in an effort to live a happier, more peaceful life, I don’t feel like anything is off the table! Right?!
Know that through your entire reframe process, I am your biggest fan. And I truly believe that your next “rise up” moment is right around the corner. I hope you’ll be in touch when you find success.
If you would like to bring the Reframe message to your organization or team, get in touch! Whatever business challenge or personal obstacles they are facing, I can teach them to reframe, get unstuck, and achieve untold success.Tags: Megan Markle, Meredith Oliver, Prince Harry, Reframe